The Harlequin

THE HARLEQUIN

By: Conz6th

 

They called him the harlequin

Many thought he didn’t know how to frown

His life was full of jokes, antics and funny acts

When he did those old tricks in a circus

Everyone can’t help but laughed and be amused

 

He always wore that flawless smile

Lived a seemingly perfect life

But no one in the world had the tinge of idea

That he was a man with a happy face

But with a burdened soul

 

The curving of his mouth, he never faked

As much as real when he cried at the backstage

Oh Yes! Believe it or not, he shed tears

And no one was there to comfort him

He seemed to be fine, all because of his grin

 

Ironically, he then forgot how to smile

Funny how a clown failed to remember

A very simple reflex of laughing

Funny how it suddenly slipped in his mind

That all expected him to be the harlequin

 

After that festive mode inside the carnival

When all the laughs of mirth and delight

Have turned into an extremely loud silence

The clown then decided to go home

Inside that poor lighted box he thought he belonged

 

He was fated to make everybody happy

But was cursed to live life in contrast to what he does best

The only person who gave what he didn’t have

And who rarely got what he truly deserved

The master entertainer… he was the harlequin.  

Turned 21

I just turned 21 last Wednesday, March 11, 2009. One year older and one year younger at heart!haha But seriously, this "adulthood" thing scares me a bit. You just don't turn a year older and that's it! Of course the society expects a lot from you. It expects you to be more responsible as an adult citizen. Your family also expects you to be more matured in dealing with things that you used to throw tantrums on. My brother from Dubai called me up and greeted me a happy birthday. He jested me with my age and said that I'm not a teenager anymore!haha And that kind of rang a bell.. hey boy! welcome to the world of adulthood!

I do admit that it feels great to be an adult. You go home late and you don't get yelled for doing so. You get to go in far places without fearing from being grounded when you arrive home. You already have your own money (the one you worked hard for) simply because a certain employer trusts you a lot by giving you a job.  You get to have your own share of help in the family and trust me, the feeling is marvelous! Most of all, you get to choose what you think is best for you though others may object but the best thing about it is that you can now fight what you truly think is right.

But what gives me cold feet about turning a year older? It's the responsibilities that are also growing up along with me. It's the fact that it's not already wise to mess around 'coz unlike Benjamin Button, I grow older each day. I also fear losing grip on my own dreams and the person that I want to be in future. And it gets harder when certain things arise and you're left with no choice but to sacrifice. Yes, it's true! At this point of my life, choice is a privilege but it creeps me out in a way. I worry about choosing the wrong moves and end up living my life with what ifs and what could have beens.

I just turned 21 and that's just two years apart from being a teenager but then again it's two years distant from being twenty-four. I can never say if I matured or what because I still have that foolish and unruly side of me (or maybe it's already part of me). As of now, I feel like I'm only given two options: be irresponsible or responsible? And I want to choose the latter. Like what they say, "Growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional".

Chillin' @ Mt. View

February 28, 2009

Mountain View Nature' s Park, Cebu

The place was cold as ever but it didn't hinder us from enjoying the moment. Mt. View was really cool at night! The panoramic view was superb. The place and the friends I was with were both amazing! That night was full of laughters and reminiscing - our High school life and our classmates back then.

Looking at the pics, I realized that our friendship have really came a long way. But it's nice to know that we have maintained that special and sincere friendship even if we barely see each other now. I really appreciate the thought of still having them as my friends up until now. These people are my closest peers back at High School but our friendship didn't end at graduation day. We may not see each other as often as before but we know in our hearts that we're keeping the friendship for the rest of our lives!

Goodbye

Goodbye
By: Conz6th

Was I sleeping when you left?
Or wide awake but just didn’t mind
Were you feeling the same thing?
‘coz when I heard you locked the door
My heart was shattered on the floor

I was hoping you’d say goodbye
But you never uttered a single word
Not that I compelled you to do it
But I just needed something to hear
Regardless if I can still bear

Would it really matter?
And would it even change a single thing?
The saying of goodbyes and see you again
All of those could only mean the same
When you left, I was in pain

But how could you go
Without even saying so
And how can you leave
When I’m starting to believe
That there’s a chance for you and me

I guess you know me better
That I hated farewell and goodbyes
I bet you don’t want to see tears falling
To see me once again breaking
I closed my eyes, you went away

Now I’m left alone on my bed
Hugging this pillow, smelling your scent
Now that we’re oceans apart
No one can ever mend this broken heart
I opened my eyes… and then you’re gone.

I Just Need Time

I'm still not okay. I may be recuperating in so many ways but I'm still not okay. The wounds may have disappeared but the scars are still there. I'm a keloid-former and so is my heart. The rate of my pain may have grown gradually less but it never subsided. I already told you so many times that I'm not so good with movin' on. Aside from doing math, it's one of the things I struggle dealing with. I may be smiling a lot but I bet you will never understand why I still frown inside. I still hope and I wonder why I still do! Maybe because I loved you so much that it wrecked my brain until it lost its capacity to think clearly.. to choose wisely.. and to decide fairly. Do you think I'm over you? I also thought. Do you think I'm back to my senses? I just wish I am. Do you think I already regained my strength? I usually pretend I did.

Funny how a minute span of 2 weeks affect my life up until now. But I still believe that I just need time. I did promise you. I'll look after you when I'm fine. I'll search you anywhere. I'm still holding on to what I said - "I still wanna keep you as my friend" but not now.. Give me more time to regain everything (though I think it's impossible). Anyway, thank you so much for still believing in our friendship. As of now, I'm doing better each day. I'm a work in progress. I'm doing good but I'm still not the best of me. Soon.. very soon.. I'll be there.

Denise and Sam: Au Revoir!

February 20, 2009

Kuya Sam and Denise

I never really liked the thought of saying Goodbyes. But people find their own ways and they've got their own life too.. it sucks! But that's reality. Last friday, I bade farewell to two of my closest friends at the office.  As expected, I didn't like the thought of it. Denise was my very first friend at Accenture. I really can say that we had the same wavelength so it wasn't really hard to befriend her afterall. Kuya Sam was like the kuya!haha Me and some of my other officemates used to jest him about his age! Well, it's not that he's too old.. but he's the most Kuya in the group!hehe Seriously, I'll miss both of them.

at the Yo-U

After office, we went to Yo-U (at mango1) and celebrated our so-called "Farewell Party" for Denise and Kuya Sam. I actually got more close to both of them 'coz we were classmates at our "tagay sessions" haha! That night was so memorable 'coz the whole class list was there (except for Tin2x who resigned a week earlier). I supposed it was the last night to drink beer with the whole gang but I still hoped it wasn't.  Aside from beer, that night was flooded with memories and reminiscing! Our early days at the company and our first impressions toward each other.

To Denise and Kuya Sam,

I didn't like the idea of you guys leaving but I'm also too proud for the both of you! You guys are very courageous to follow your hearts.  Somehow, God had His own beautiful reasons why He crossed our paths. And I couldn't be thankful enough to have a friends like you. Rest assured, all memories will be cherished and bear in mind that once a friend, always a friend!

So long my friends! Au Revoir!!!

The Love of Siam

Official Movie Poster

From the look of it, one would really think that this movie is another chick flick or a teenybooper perhaps! Well, that's what I thought at first. Last night, I was surfin' youtube and came across the trailer of this Thai movie entitled "The Love of Siam". Again, the trailer (like its poster), seemed to be your another "kilig-to-the-max" teen show. I even thought of it as an Asian version for "High School Musical" but after watching the movie, I was darn wrong!!! There was more to this movie than meets the eye . Unlike any other teen shows wherein the story only revolves around their blossoming romance and how the chase of a boy to a girl excites the viewers - this movie was entirely different. It touched a lot of aspects relating to our present society. It reflected the struggles of a young love and self-identification through discovering oneself. This movie also showed how important a family plays in molding a character of a certain person.

If you have nothing to do (like me last night!) or you simply want some movie trippin' then I suggest this one. I swear your 3hrs will be worth it and you can even end up asking for more! (a sequel for the movie perhaps??hehe)

PRECAUTION: Entries below may contain lots of spoilers. You have every right to continue reading but personally, I encourage you to watch the movie first. Here's the link: "The Love of Siam"

this movie garnered lots of awards as well

Ooopps!.. so you opted to continue reading?! Fine! Just enjoy reading regarding the story's characters, scenes, and the way it was delivered.

The Characters: (amazing creation..kudos to the writers)

• Tong and Mew - The grew up together as childhood bestfriends! But they separated ways during grade school. Tong's family (which used to be very perfect) encountered a huge obstacle when Tang (Tong's sister) didn't go home from a trip with her friends. That problem caused Tong's family to move into another place. They were already in their Seniors (HS) when Tong and Mew met again. Mew then realized that he had this special feelings for his childhood bestfriend. Tong, on the other hand, was having tough decisions on choosing what he really wanted for himself because by then, he too, was falling for his bestfriend.
• Sunee (Tong's mom)- You will definitely adore her character. You can just imagine a wife who's struggling to fight and stand for her failing marriage and family. You can really taste the pain each time she tries to be strong but in reality, inside she's breaking. Imagine having a son who's about to take an unlikely path (by choosing to be a gay) and having a husband who's depression led to being an alcoholic.
• KoRn (Tong's father) - He lost the will to live when his daughter Tang never went back home. He used alcohol as a way to escape the sad reality of life. From drinking too much alcohol, he developed Liver problems which also added burden to her wife.
• Tang/June - June is the manager of Mew's band. She really looked like Tong's lost sister that's why she was offered to do the job of acting as Tang just to make Tong's father inspired with life again.
• Ying - Mew's neighbor who is head over heels for him to the extent of acting like a stalker. Later on, she realized that Mew is a gay and that he is in love with his bestfriend.
• Donut - Tong's on and off girlfriend.

My Favorite Scenes (well thought of..)

1. I liked that part when (during childhood days) Tong and Mew were lying on the same bed and about to sleep. Mew realized that Tong was crying (bec. of her sister) and so he reached out and held Tong's hand. It was so innocent and pure.

2. I appreciate the puzzle way of giving gifts.

3. This one struck me the most. The scene wherein Tong's mom was preparing the christmas tree and he chose to help. Tong acted silly by asking her mom again and again on what he should place at the middle of the christmas tree, a boy or a girl doll? He also told his mom that he is afraid to make choices because it might upset her again. Her mom was touched and replied by saying that he should choose the one that can make him happy - he then chose to place the boy doll.

4. The Kissing part!!! Waaaahhhh! They acted so in love! To think they are just teen agers in real life but then they gave out a very deep acting! (Kudos to both of them and the director!). I also liked the way Tong's mother reacted when she saw the kissing part. It was very realistic!

5. When Tong's parents reconciled! It was such a tear jerker!!!

6. Last part of the movie, when Ying and Tong was watching Mew performing on stage at Siam Square. Ying stared at Tong's face that was so fond of watching Mew singing. Another one was when they joined the crowd (holding hands) to get closer to the stage, Ying suddenly let go of Tong's hand and walked away. It was Ying's subtle way of letting go Mew.

7. Lastly, when Tong gave Mew his christmas present. The missing nose of the wooden puppet which Tong gave Mew when they were just kids. That scene was very touching!

To sum it up, the movie was really great! I enjoyed it.. surpassing my mere expectations. I salute the makers of this film! Magnifico!