Are you in PaiN?

It's painful. Life is full of it. A lot of pains that you can't expect to subside in just one click. Below six months is considered to be 'acute pain' while beyond that is expected to be 'chronic pain'. I used to ask my patients to rate the level of pain they are experiencing (0 as the lowest and 10 as the highest). Some people may think that it's completely subjective but wrong.. not 'completely' coz we also have objective cues for pain (increased vital signs, grimaced face, profuse sweating, guarding behavior, decreased ability to focus and the like). The important thing I learned from the "Theory of Pain" (which was the first topic I had for MedSurg, discussed by Mrs. Panerio) was that "What is painful for you may not be painful for me and vice versa". The pain of physical or emotional. Well, basically they're the same.. it's just that the latter takes a lot of time to subside.

Everyday we are faced with different situations, different problems.. different pains. Sometimes it's getting too casual (bec. of chronicity) that our body tends to get used to it thus, pain will no longer be painful.. that it's still a state of mind.. that a constant exposure to a certain stimuli leads to a state which I call "nothing-new-stage". Our body tends to forget the pain and then live each day as if everything is fine and doing well. Our daily activities and rendezvous, friends and loved ones, favorite TV series - they simply mask the awful truth that we really are in pain.

Just when we thought that all wounds are healed but with just one bump of our head, all.. within just milliseconds turn to its real color and that color is RED.. Bloody red! We suddenly realize that no wound really healed. We stoop and see that we're still shattered by pieces. We are blinded by all the crazy stuffs we put up for ourselves just to convince our hurting ego that there's no need to worry about. But in reality? (reality sucks!) We still bleed. Some people bleed externally and weep for it while some people bleed internally.. silently screaming and going through the process of pain all by themselves.

Pain.. it's everywhere. Pain of holding on. Pain of standing still. Pain of leaving and pain of staying (when you really want to leave). Pain of letting go and pain of moving on. Toothache. Headache. Stomachache. Pain.. it exists to remind us that we're not yet 6 ft. below the ground. Life, by nature, is a series of never ending pain. Here's a simple thought I wanna share, "people can never penetrate and hurt us if they are not important to us in the first place". We are in pain, all of us! As what they always say, "No pain, no gain!" The road to heaven is never easy and it will be one kind of a hell pain! Life is painful. But as we reach the bottom of it, we realize all the reasons behind those pains. It signified a promise.. A promise that all is gonna be worth it!

A Day at Accenture

We really had fun while we were making this video from planning to the actual shooting of pics and vid. I just wanna share this little presentation of ours..hehe We actually made this video for our All-hands activity last October 3, 2008. I hope you get to appreciate this vid (bisan dinalian ra ni..hehe). This also serves as our sweet memoir in our stay at Accenture. Well, so far I'm really enjoying my stay.. I met new friends and I created a fresh environment for myself. Though I'm not certain if how long will I stay in this company, one thing is for sure.. this part of my life is one of the best chapters my fate has ever written.

P.S. Thanks to Inday Rule who edited this video (she waked for this!haha) and to other PCS pipz who contributed their superb ideas that paved way to this favorable outcome.

Grace is Gone

I just thought that I wanna share this song to you guys. If you're not that busy and you got nothin' to do, you might as well take time to listen to this song. It's really moving.. it can really touch your heart. This song is actually an OST from the movie "Grace is Gone" starred by John Cusack. If you feel like movie trippin' then I suggest this one. Of course I won't talk much about this movie so I won't spoil you thus you can appreciate it more. I can only guarantee you that after this movie you'll be left thinking.. pondering about the things that are actually happening in our our society today (especially in middle east and in our very own Mindanao). Sad but still.. true.

My Obsession: Sneakers!

I still have my feet on the

ground, I just wear better shoes.

- Oprah Winfrey

These are my greatest obsession.. my sneakers!haha My weakness.. though ironic as it may seem but that weakness can make me confident in so many ways. Whenever I wear them, I feel like I'm the most blessed man walking along the hallway or even pavements! It boosts my confidence like I'm indestructible. It brings out the best in me. I can dance.. run.. play.. and live life because I'm wearing something I'm proud about. For me, these shoes are simply one of the best things man has ever invented in the entire history of mankind. Shoes (in my case, I prefer sneakers) is the most essential part of my wardrobe. Give me a worn out pair of jeans - I really wouldn't care much about it. Let me wear a faded t-shirt/polo shirt - honestly, I can live with it. Take my shoes without my permission - I swear you'll pay something huge! On the other hand, Give me a latest model of Nokia N-series.. you'll hear my sweetest thanK YOU! Present me with the most expensive perfume.. you'll see the widest smile on earth (that would be mine!hehe). Hand me a box with a pair of shoes in it - you'll hear my ever sweetest thank you, my widest smile and a huge hug coming from me with extra kiss (depends upon the person who gave me!hehe). And if by chance, you opt to settle in giving me cash.. haha! I'd still buy a pair of shoes!

Someday when I become very rich.. filthy rich like Oprah Winfrey (dream on conz!haha), I'll buy every pair of shoes that fits my taste. As of now, I'm only filthy (hehe! LOL!) but not rich.. that's why I learn to control my obsession. I believe that there's always time for everything. We should learn to set our priorities and who knows.. maybe someday, I can also have that closet like Oprah's closet (if you've seen that episode wherein she showed her entire closet, a department store looking closet!ehehehe then you can relate).

One Night of Celebrating Friendship

October 11, 2008

@AteJazzy's Crib

"Even though we've changed and we're all finding our own place in the world, we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we're not all still friends."

Last Saturday, we had a sleepover at Ate Jazzy's place. Me, Yan2x, Alin, Ate Rodz, and Jovel were all there to bond and celebrate each other's friendship. It was a crazy night. A totally unforgettable one. Ate jaz prepared 'margarita' for us and i must say, it was good! She once said to me that she's a frustrated bartender (not a bar dancer!hehe), well.. she now has another option for a career - nurse maj. in bartending!haha It was even funny 'coz Jovel and Alin were first timers for such (am right? i dunno!haha).

Yan2x also brought her laptop so we watched her fave show ever (They Kissed Again - Taiwanese series). The lead actor is her ultimate crush so I never wondered why she giggled like it was just her first time to watch that series when in fact, it's almost six months that she has been watching the show over and over again (hay naku yan2x!ehehe). After yan2x's series, we watched "A Very Special Love'" (starred by Sarah Geronimo and John Lloyd Cruz) in which I was the one who brought the DVD. Indeed, that night was a whole bunch of kiligan to the max!haha! We felt like we were high school studs.. uhmmm.. there's nothin ' wrong with acting like kidz once in a while though!hehe

We also surfed the net and viewed some pics in friendster. Until it came to a point wherein we were already scanning the pics from our in-house review .. then suddenly we were nostalgic.. and missed our other friends. We laughed and got amused of how we were roughly 5 months ago. It felt like it was just yesterday and now, we're at the point of choosing our own pathways.. well, this is inevitable and that we have to face.

We talked anything under the sun (as usual- never ending 'chikahan'hehe!). Giggled like kids.. laughed like there's no tomorrow.. until the sun came up and it was already 5:30am (ai?? buntag na?hehe). The mirthful scene turned into bidding of goodbyes and the noise paved its way to silence (kay nakatog na si yan2x og c ate roda!hehe).. Like any good things in this world, it seemed to never last. But the friendship will always be there, it may be asleep for years but a single get-together would simply rekindle everything.

LEAVING me & you

"LEAVING me & you"

By: Conz6th

I still believe in destiny, that if I'll stay, there's a reason

And if I'll leave and go on, God has his own reasons

You and I may not fully comprehend why

But in time, all the answers will appear

It'll make you realize, then make me feel better

♦

I can't find the exact words or the right explanation

Still, it won't suffice to make you feel good

Leavin' is quite synonymous with starting all over

And yes you may crumble when I go

Just don't forget that life goes on despite of it all

Little by little, you'll pick those tiny pieces

And I'm sorry if I can't be there to make you whole again

♦

One thing I realized today

We really cannot own someone and lock ‘em in our world

We may own their body but not their soul

Sometimes it's better to set them free

Than to make them stay but knowing that they're never really happy

♦

A heart that's wounded is also deaf

Though they hear reasons, still they never digest

You may be hurting, well it's your right

But please don't forget and bear in mind

That darkness won't be forever and soon there will be light

♦

If only there's something I can do

To make you feel better, certainly I would

But I know my stay won't do any help

As I will only cause you greater pain

Then the both of us, in the long run, have nothing to gain

♦

Time heals almost everything

You just have to give time

‘Coz when all is said and done

Silence then takes over the scene

Then you'll realize, there's another journey you ought to begin.

Game of Life

My thoughts are playing and running.. they never cease or just even stop for awhile. I think of my plans, my own plans in life and then I halt.. What now? That's the biggest question, simple yet so hard to deal with. Whenever I think of my own future, I feel cold.. afraid..then a sudden disturbing feeling arises. These qualms never leave me alone maybe because I'm just afraid to fail (who's not?) though failing for me is no big deal, hitting the ground is a different story. And NO! Pride or shame.. or deflated self-esteem are not the worse things after failing, it's how steep it can be to pick up your shattered dreams, hopes.. one's soul - only for you to be whole again.

As of now, I convince myself that I'm still young and there's a lot in store for me from this life. Everyday experiences teach me to be strong. I'm slow in learning and I forget easily (you think it's fair? - I don't think either) but I never stop and what's important is that I have my own goals.. my own rules.. my own game. Faith is my coach and destiny is my arbitrator. I should play fair, no dirty tactics nor any shortcuts should be allowed. I shouldn't play safe, I'd rather play fair. Take risks as much as possible. I may lose Game 1 but never say die 'coz the game I put up for my self is Game 4ever! Being in my comfort zone is easier but less rewarding at the end of the day while struggling for a triumphant victory is far more ecstatic than playing safe at one corner.

In this game, I happen to be the only player at the center of the Arena. I have no competitor simply because I am my own worst enemy. I envy my being ambitious as I love my determination. I hate my inconsistencies but I adore my will to continue. I feel small when the world looks at me but I feel proud when I face eternity.

Of what will I become, that I'm not sure. Of what I am right now is a certainty of a mere thinking that I can be whatever, whoever I want to be. This is my Game. And I'm playing it in the most serious way.

The Gift of Friendship

September 7, 2008

Moal-boal, Cebu

Philippines

"a sunny day at Moal-boal with my all time friends"

I thank the Lord for the Gift of Friendship

For when I feel weak and desolated

They never cease to light my way

For when I feel like I am lost

They always show me the way

It's nice to know how we have grown as individuals. Many things already changed as time passed by but one thing really stayed (I'm praying it would be for good), it's our Friendship that never rusted thru time. Friendship is so magical that even if it's not everyday that you get to share time with friends, I can't explain, but when I'm with them I still get that special feeling of comfort.. superb joy.. acceptance.. and love.