First night I slept not next to you, no words can describe what I felt except "loneliness".
- Recollecting the conversations we used to have before going to sleep - it made me feel like I'm floating in the milky way, alone and quivering.
- Remembering your own way of saying "Goodnight" - now I feel like there'll never be another good nights.
- You may not know but I used to quietly stare at your face while you were sleeping - now I still do.. except that I close my eyes just to see you.
First morning I woke up without you - I wished I never woke up at all.
- That distinct voice of yours that used to wake me up - I can still hear it up to now.
- I recalled your smile that greets me early in the morning - it made me frown.
- I thought of your eyes that welcomes me in my sweetest mornings so far - I cannot help it and made me cry.
First day I spent entirely without the nearness of you - I wished it would end as fast as possible.. but it never did.
- That times when we used to walk together, I silently prayed I'd walk with you my whole life - now, as I walk through my life, I still look back.. hoping that in any way, for no known reason.. YOU stayed.
- You may not know but from afar, I used to look at you steadily while you're with your friends - now, every time I come across a crowd, I still hope you're one of them.. hoping that in any way, for no known reason.. YOU never left.
- When you're still beside me, when something is not right I know it would be fine eventually - now I know, I just know.. I'll never be the same again.
I never stopped counting.. and I must say, these are the longest Four Months of my life. Like a rolling snowball, my feelings grow each day even more. Loneliness must have loved my company 'coz it never left me. Pain was never tolerable but time introduced me to being numb. Solitude became my favorite past time.. reminiscin' then became my habit.
Reminiscin'.. .. does not necessarily mean, I'm not over you.. .. missin' you is another story.