I am blessed with a lot of friends in my life. I’ve met them along my journey in this crazy world of mine. Most of them just come and go but that didn’t mean they’re less of a friend for not staying. As I’ve always said, “Once a friend, always a friend!” Nevertheless, a handful of them made an effort (as I also did) to stay amidst life’s diversity and God always knew how I truly appreciated it. As I’ve travelled through life, I’ve came across a myriad of friends. Being flexible, I would like to believe, has been one of my greatest strength as a person. I can easily blend in and I perfectly don’t know why. But from what I’ve known, it taught me many things. It deepened my understanding in the word friendship. True enough, I realized that my friends are like a box of 64 crayola in it with different colors, unique personalities, distinctive beauty and attitude but “equally” important to me.
So here are the few things I learned along the way with my friends:
You always take time to LISTEN. It’s a common flaw that most of us, most often than not, talk instead of listening. Yep, talking can be a whole lot of fun! Who doesn’t love the chitchats? But at one point in time, we ought to listen to our friends. For only in listening we get to fully understand a person. This is a tough challenge for talkative people (oopps! like me!hehe) but you just have to realize that the spotlight isn’t always on you. That’s life. Take it or leave it? It’s up to you.
FRIEND: not your boyfriend/girlfriend. When friends get too close with each other, they sometimes forget the thin line separating between friendship and a romantic relationship. Yes! For hell’s sake! They’re not your girl/boyfriend so be very careful not to cross the line. Being possessive is quite normal but take time to reflect that your friends, like you, have a life of their own. You may be part of their world but always go back to reality… you are not their world.
I like this… My friend should like this too. It’s not a must that you should always have the same likes and decisions. If they contradict your standpoints so be it but that doesn’t mean they’re not your friends anymore. It would boil down again to the mere fact that the word “individuality” should be highly respected. Friends, like any other relationship, have to agree and disagree but should always meet somewhere in the middle. Meeting them halfway is a concrete evidence that you, as a friend, understand them thoroughly.
Can I be honest with you? Sadly, reality stings and it bites like hell. The more it pisses me off when a judgment is coming from a mere stranger. Who the hell do you think you are?! You don’t know me you son of a female dog!! And so my ranting goes on and on. But when a friend, who knows me right down to the very dead toenail I have, speaks up and directly tells me the not so good side of me. I shut up and reflect. Coming from a friend? Well, that must be really something. Yes, it would hurt a much deeper intensity but hating your friend or thinking that your friend is just envious and would just like to put you down will do no good. Your friend is being honest and you know it within the tiniest cell you have that he/she was telling truth. You should be thankful then for a friend confronted you instead of backbiting. Now it’s entirely up to you if you will do something about it. A friend just did his/her job… now what about you?
Believe me, it hurts too. There are times when you feel like, “Shit, they’re picking on me again.” The feeling where the whole group throws a joke on you and all of them are simultaneously laughing at the top of their lungs and you’re left with no choice but to laugh with them (yet hurt inside). Yes, friends do toss jokes on each other once in a while and as long as it doesn’t go below the belt, what’s the big fuss? It’s called humor my friend. And if you get to be so sensitive over nonsense craps, believe me, you’re causing the same pain to your friend. Asking why? Well, you’re friend is thinking that you aren’t that close as he/she might think. Close friends joke around and it stings when at the end of all the laughter someone walks out. It just goes to show that you aren’t on the same page all along. And trust me, that realization hurts more.
My friend’s friends. Our friends, most of the time, also have their own circle of friends which you don’t belong. You just have to realize that your friend also has his/her own journey in life. Hence, the friends your friend met along the way. There’s no point of thinking that your friend might has changed vastly or you simply can’t keep up with the lifestyle that he/she currently has. Think of it this way, things might change for better or worse but a true friend remains the same. You just have to believe in the sincerity of your friendship and t he rest will follow.
A friend makes not breaks. It’s crystal clear when an impending hiatus in friendship is taking over. It wouldn’t take a scientist to interpret such obvious matter. And when bridges are about to fall apart, what’s the best thing a friend can do to a friend? Simple. Don’t add fuel to the fire. Intend to pacify things instead of pushing them to their limits. Remember that the people involve are your friends and you are not watching a cockfight where one has to lose or win. These are real people and not roosters. Both are always at the losing end. Don’t take sides for it will only diversify things. Well, good thing about burned bridges is that it can always be rebuilt and you my friend can be a great tool. You just have to be there with your mind kept open.
And sometimes it’s not even needed. There are times when a friend commits mistake and consciously or unconsciously offends you in any way. Like what they always say, “Xenxa na, tao lang po!” Yes, to err has been making all of us human and when a friend deeply offended you, get angry because it’s your freewill. Find a place to recollect and weigh things up. Is that mistake enough for you to give up the friendship that the both of you have been taking care for the longest time? Are your friends’ sacrifices for you back then are too little compared to that offensive act? Think… because sometimes the word sorry is not even needed. Sometimes coffee or shopping will do the trick and all would be just fine.
A good friend remembers. And I’m not talking about birthdays or any other special occasions because those are dates and many aren’t just excellent when it comes to dates. What I’m referring to are the moments (good or bad) you’ve spent with your friend. The very first day you were acquainted with each other. The most stupid things that you both did though these things are just mere funny memories now. The tears your friend wiped on your face from your first heart break. The most challenging exams that went effortless just because your friend was around. The chitchats inside the library … the cheap-in2x thing so all the empty stomach will be filled… or from all the, “pletehi sa ko ha, akoi plete nimo sunod!” These are the simple things a good friend never forgets. These are the memories you would never trade in for anything in this world.
It needs cultivation. Like any other relationship, it needs a conscious effort to make it grow and to never let it die. Top on the list is communication. In our world of technological advancements, it’s a big question why you can’t drop a single hi or hello. True, you can’t expect to let all of your friends to stay. Fact of the matter is they all don’t. But as long as you intend to communicate, the friendship lives on. You might not see each other for ages but who cares? Facebook, Yahoo Messenger, Skype, and Twitter are all just there and who knows what advancements will happen in the future. For now, let’s keep it simple and love one another!
