I Just Need Time

I'm still not okay. I may be recuperating in so many ways but I'm still not okay. The wounds may have disappeared but the scars are still there. I'm a keloid-former and so is my heart. The rate of my pain may have grown gradually less but it never subsided. I already told you so many times that I'm not so good with movin' on. Aside from doing math, it's one of the things I struggle dealing with. I may be smiling a lot but I bet you will never understand why I still frown inside. I still hope and I wonder why I still do! Maybe because I loved you so much that it wrecked my brain until it lost its capacity to think clearly.. to choose wisely.. and to decide fairly. Do you think I'm over you? I also thought. Do you think I'm back to my senses? I just wish I am. Do you think I already regained my strength? I usually pretend I did.

Funny how a minute span of 2 weeks affect my life up until now. But I still believe that I just need time. I did promise you. I'll look after you when I'm fine. I'll search you anywhere. I'm still holding on to what I said - "I still wanna keep you as my friend" but not now.. Give me more time to regain everything (though I think it's impossible). Anyway, thank you so much for still believing in our friendship. As of now, I'm doing better each day. I'm a work in progress. I'm doing good but I'm still not the best of me. Soon.. very soon.. I'll be there.