Turned 21

I just turned 21 last Wednesday, March 11, 2009. One year older and one year younger at heart!haha But seriously, this "adulthood" thing scares me a bit. You just don't turn a year older and that's it! Of course the society expects a lot from you. It expects you to be more responsible as an adult citizen. Your family also expects you to be more matured in dealing with things that you used to throw tantrums on. My brother from Dubai called me up and greeted me a happy birthday. He jested me with my age and said that I'm not a teenager anymore!haha And that kind of rang a bell.. hey boy! welcome to the world of adulthood!

I do admit that it feels great to be an adult. You go home late and you don't get yelled for doing so. You get to go in far places without fearing from being grounded when you arrive home. You already have your own money (the one you worked hard for) simply because a certain employer trusts you a lot by giving you a job.  You get to have your own share of help in the family and trust me, the feeling is marvelous! Most of all, you get to choose what you think is best for you though others may object but the best thing about it is that you can now fight what you truly think is right.

But what gives me cold feet about turning a year older? It's the responsibilities that are also growing up along with me. It's the fact that it's not already wise to mess around 'coz unlike Benjamin Button, I grow older each day. I also fear losing grip on my own dreams and the person that I want to be in future. And it gets harder when certain things arise and you're left with no choice but to sacrifice. Yes, it's true! At this point of my life, choice is a privilege but it creeps me out in a way. I worry about choosing the wrong moves and end up living my life with what ifs and what could have beens.

I just turned 21 and that's just two years apart from being a teenager but then again it's two years distant from being twenty-four. I can never say if I matured or what because I still have that foolish and unruly side of me (or maybe it's already part of me). As of now, I feel like I'm only given two options: be irresponsible or responsible? And I want to choose the latter. Like what they say, "Growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional".